


Mr. & Mr. Grace

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: "pretending" lmao, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Mortal, Bakery, Cake, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Imagine your OTP, M/M, Past Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Pretending to Be Gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 23:42:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6446926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, Percy told me how they went to go sample cake for the wedding-,” </p><p>“Wait-,” Jason interrupted, “It’s still ten months away.” </p><p>“Yeah, well, Annabeth wanted to be prepared or whatever. Anyways, he told me how they went to sample wedding cake, right, which is really expensive cake. He said it was really good.” </p><p>“Okay, I’m still not following.” </p><p>Leo blew air out of his nose, grip tightening on the wheel. “So I was wondering if, I don’t know, you’d like to go sample some with me?” </p><p>Jason furrowed his brow. “But, like, isn’t that only for engaged couples?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Leo said, “So, Jason,” he looked over at him, which gave Jason a bout of anxiety about them crashing and dying, and whipped off his sunglasses, “Will you marry me?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. & Mr. Grace

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! Small ValGrace story because why not?  
> Check out my tumblr [here!](http://luciferslittlekitten.tumblr.com/)

“Hey J-Bae, you busy after work?”

“No, why?”

And that was how Jason ended up sitting the passenger car of Leo’s shitty junker car while _Wannabe_ played way too loudly on the radio. It was mid-June, and the lucky little shits that were out of school filled the parks, skated along the sidewalk, and bombarded the streets. The sun was beating down relentlessly, causing the streets to be nearly boiling.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going, you know,” Jason commented, staring out the window at the car next to them. It was a red convertible full of high school kids. They all looked like cocky shit, even more so when the driver flipped him off and the girl in the back shimmied her breasts. Jason sighed and looked over at Leo, “High school cunts.”

Leo laughed and shook his head. “Remember when we were high school cunts?”

“Yeah, I do, but at least Piper wasn’t nearly flashing dudes on the street and at least Percy wasn’t speeding in order to look cool.”

“Percy was definitely speeding in order to look cool, man.”

“Whatever,” he bit. He hadn’t even noticed Leo dancing around the question, “Hey, but where are we going?”

“Don’t worry about it, Jace. Have I ever disappointed you?” Leo looked over at him, raising an eyebrow over his sunglasses that he’d probably gotten somewhere in the sketchier than normal part of downtown LA, because no way in hell could he have afford them if they weren’t off-brand shades.

“More times than you will your future wife, I can assure you.”

The light turned green before Leo could assault him badly, but he still shoved him with a free hand. Jason chuckled, keeping eyes on the road just in case Leo made another case for the record Jason had been keeping ever since the guy got his license- Reasons Why Leo Valdez Should Not Be Left Behind the Wheel. Currently it was a bullet-pointed list with over 102 points.

“You really wanna know?” Leo questioned, lowering the volume as the song changed from the Spice Girls to something else.

“No, of course not, that’s why I asked.”

“We’re going to Disneyland.”

“Gee whiz,” Jason muttered, “Thanks for taking me to Disneyland, Daddy.”

“If you call me Daddy again, Grace, I might just pop a hard-on right here.”

Jason snorted, shaking his head. “Wouldn’t want that, Daddy.”

“Damn you,” he shook his fist at Jason, which prompted him to scoff humorously.

“So?” Jason asked, “Gonna tell me yet?”

Leo did this a fuckton, avoid questions until he could no longer or could bullshit a conclusion. It was how he graduated high school, and also probably how he was going to get through college.

“Fine,” Leo said, “You know how Percy and Annabeth are getting married next year?”

“Yep.”

“Well, Percy told me how they went to go sample cake for the wedding-,”

“Wait-,” Jason interrupted, “It’s still ten months away.”

“Yeah, well, Annabeth wanted to be prepared or whatever. Anyways, he told me how they went to sample wedding cake, right, which is really expensive cake. He said it was really good.”

“Okay, I’m still not following.”

Leo blew air out of his nose. “So I was wondering if, I don’t know, you’d like to go sample some with me?”

Jason furrowed his brow. “But, like, isn’t that only for engaged couples?”

“Yeah,” Leo said, “So, Jason,” he looked over at him, which gave Jason a bout of anxiety about them crashing and dying, and whipped off his sunglasses, “Will you marry me?”

Jason blinked. “...That’s pretty fucking gay, dude.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Leo scoffed, “But if we wanna get those goddamned cake samples, which are amazing, we have to pretend to be engaged.”

“Wait, let me get this straight,” at this he paused a second, “Well, as straight as I _can_ get it. You want us to pretend to be engaged to get some cake?”

“Yep.”

“But can’t we just buy some cake?”

“You don’t understand, Jason,” Leo told him, “From what Percy told me, wedding cake is, like, made out of children’s laughter, sunshine, flowers, sugar, spice, and everything nice, and frosted with God’s heavenly cum. Or some shit like that. And it’s really expensive, and you only ever eat it at other people’s weddings. And I can’t wait ten months.”

“Please never say ‘God’s heavenly cum’ ever again.”

“But you get the idea,” Leo emphasized, “You understand what I’m trying to say here.”

“Why couldn’t you get Piper, then?” Jason asked, “Why me?”

“Because, man,” Leo said, “I want us to experience the taste of His righteous sperm of the skies together.” Then, after sparing a glance at Jason, added as almost an afterthought, “And because fuck Piper.”

Jason sighed. Leo was terrible about the McLean Topic. Come to think of it, he always was bitter about the McLean Topic. The McLean Topic was an incredibly hard one for him to cover, for whatever reason. “You are a Catholic man.”

“Yes, and you’re an atheist. Does that make you want to taste God’s sweet nectar any less?”

“Leo…” he trailed off, giving his friend a warning look.

“Alright, hell,” Leo murmured, “Look, just accept this. It’s been a long week and I need some damn cake.”

“You know, a regular guy would just drink.”

“Not all of us can be alcoholics, Jason. That runs in your family, not mine,” Leo pointed out jokingly. Jason snickered and shook his head.

“Brutal.”

“Hey, you know it’s true.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you that. So, what, we strut into this bakery, say we’re getting married, eat their cake, then leave?”

“Yeah, then I was thinking maybe afterwards we go get some pizza and rent the movie Leo DiCaprio won the Oscar for, and cuddle until we fall asleep in each other’s arms.”

He disregarded that last bit. “Heard he slept in an animal carcass.”

“I know. Crazy bastard.”

“Where are we getting pizza from?”

“Don’t care as long as we can get cheese sticks and pineapple pizza.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Meat Lover’s. Because that name isn’t gay at all.”

“You know what, Leo? We spend a lot more time calling things gay than we do actually caring that they are.”

“It’s one long, spiraling, ironic inside joke about being fuckboys that has gone out of control, Jason. We’ve become so ironic that we have actually circled back around to being fuckboys.”

“That…” Jason shook his head, “actually made a lot of sense. That’s new for you.”

“I know,” Leo said, as he pulled into the lot of All Things Cake. He parked and pushed his sunglasses atop his head. “Ready to gorge yourself on dessert platter of a lifetime?”

“Only because you forced me to, darling.”

He got out of the car, keeping the handle pulled while he closed it so it would actually shut, and jogged up to the entrance to regain a position by Leo’s side. He hadn’t really left it since the McLean Incident. Leo was like a rock to him. A semi-druggie, Game of Thrones obsessed, annoyingly humorous, Latino rock that had held Jason in place since forever.

As soon as they pushed in, they were greeted by the sight of a brunette woman at the front desk. Her eyes snapped up to look at them the second the door’s bell chimed. She was a pretty girl, reminded him of Piper in a weird way, with her dark skin and the way her dark hair draped across her shoulders like silk. The only staggering difference was her eyes, which were big and forest green.

Damn. Piper. He should really get a water bottle to spray himself with whenever he thought of her, like a dog or something.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, “How can I help you, gentlemen? What kind of sweets can we find for you? Birthday cakes, something for a special occasion, maybe?”

“Yeah, we’re looking for a cake,” Jason said.

The woman laughed good-naturedly. “Well, you’ve got to be a bit more specific than that, love! What’s the occasion? Usually men like yourselves have a woman nagging them about their every last dessert choice.”

Jason didn’t know how to explain himself, but Leo did it for them. He cleared his throat and said, slightly awkwardly, “We’re trying to find a wedding cake, actually. I’ve scheduled a sampling with your… husband, was it?”

The woman’s eyes widened, and she almost brought a hand up to her mouth before stopping herself. Her cheeks tinged pink. “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to-,”

Leo waved it off. “Relax. Don’t worry about it.”

She still looked jumpy, but she slid out from behind the desk. She was really short, a head and a half shorter than them, at least. “Well… I… We’ve never served a gay couple before. My husband didn’t tell me the reservation was for a… Sorry, I don’t mean to offend or anything, but gosh, I really-,”

“You haven’t served a gay couple before?” Jason asked, surprised.

She shook her head. “No. We’re a relatively new-to-open bakery, and we haven’t done many weddings in general. I suppose this is a… milestone?”

Leo laughed. “Suppose so.”

“Can I get your names, then?” ”

“Leo V-,”

“Grace,” Jason finished for him, “Leo and Jason Grace.”

“So, when’s the wedding?” She asked, flipping through a booklet and marking off a time.

“This August,” he said, “We’re just trying to get a feel for things.”

“Ah, well, I understand that. Summer weddings are very lovely, in any case.”

“That’s all Leo’s ever wanted, a summer wedding,” Jason bullshitted.

Leo nodded. “Ever since… ever.”

“And what kind of husband would I be if I didn’t give him that?” Jason looked over at Leo, who had a resigned smirk on his face. He looked like he was almost regretting this. That was a quirk of his, begging him to do something and then ending up regretting it halfway through, and always shone in high school. Like first smoking weed, or going to parties, or even just sitting with different people at lunch- he was indecisive as hell. It was endearing, in a way.

“You’ve given me a lot more than just one wedding, Jason.”

“I do try to make you as happy as I can, dear, and even then some,” he said this with a wink directed at Leo.

“Honey, not in front of the baker, por favor?”

“Oh, Spanish!” The woman’s eyes lit up. “Are you fluent?”

“We both are. Luego, más tarde en la cama, no? Cuando llegamos a casa, voy a hacer un lío de ti, nena,” Jason’s Spanish probably slipped, but the message got across to Leo because his eyes widened and his mouth hung open. He wasn’t perfect with the language, but he was fluent enough to get by. Leo’d convinced him to start learning from the logic that they’d be able to shittalk people and public. And they totally fucking did. Leo seemed to like him speaking in it, too, though his accent was atrocious.

“What’d he say?” The lady asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Leo said. Jason could see that the tips of his ears were red. “He’s just being a jackass.”

“His pet names are often insults,” Jason explained, gaze flickering back over to Leo, “but I love him and all his abusive tendencies.”

She laughed. “You two are super duper cute, y’know?”

“Well,” Jason drawled, “I personally think Leo’s the cuter half of us.”

Jason could see the tick in Leo’s smile. “Oh, no, you’re the cuter half Jason.”

“Sure, whatever you say, sweetheart,” Jason retaliated.

“And I say that you’re the cuter half.”

Jason turned back to the woman. “Sorry, he’s a little stubborn. But I believe it’s part of his charm.”

Jason wasn’t sure why the flirting came so naturally, or didn’t feel forced _at all_. He didn’t regularly flirt with Leo, only if not always for a joke or because he was just fucking with him or someone else, but he’d never thought that it would be so easy when he was trying to actually pass them as a couple. He didn’t feel like he was even changing, minus the fact he was putting a romantic twinge to things.

“Aww. Well, come right through here, I’ll bring out a few samples. You can call me Juniper, by the way.” She said, turning and walking further into the bakery.

“Alrighty, Miss Juniper,” Leo smiled at her, a smile which fell almost as quickly as it had appeared on his face when he turned to Jason with a speed to possibly give whiplash, “What the hell?”

“What?”

“What you said to me in Spanish?”

“You wanted us to be married, Leo...”

“That’s a little much, wasn’t it?”

“Gentlemen?” Juniper’s voice rung out.

“Coming!” They replied in unison, heads turning to look in her general direction before back at each other.

“Well, you’re the one who dragged me out here for cake, sweetheart, so just handle being Leo Grace for the next hour.”

Leo scowled, but Jason could only give a self-satisfied smirk. Jason didn’t know why Leo cared so much. He was getting his wedding cake, that’s what he wanted, right? Why was he suddenly so pissy about Jason flirting with him? It wasn’t even real.

They both headed more towards the inner part of the bakery. Juniper waved them to a table, which they sat down at. They fell into an uncomfortable silence as they waited for Juniper, and when she returned, she had a tray with two pieces of cake. She slid it onto the table. The dessert looked like a ball, almost, with strawberries and caramel drizzle.

“First choice! Croquembouche! It’s French, and really good. Not to toot my own horn or anything.” She set down two forks, and the two men seated began to sample the cake. Juniper snapped her fingers. “Oh! Are either of you vegan?”

Leo sniggered. “Vegan? That’s ga-,” he was cut off by remembering their cover, “aaaaaaaatta be a terrible thing to be, y’know? Like, you can’t eat anything.”

Juniper was a bit put off, but nodded and said, “You’re telling me! Vegans are crazy! Do you like the cake?”

“Yeah, I like it,” Jason said, hand covering his mouthful of French heaven.

“I’ll get the other samples out,” she smiled warmly, turning to get more cake.

“Dude,” Jason said after he’d swallowed his cake, “You have to filter yourself.”

“Well, forgive me,” he said, “Besides, she seemed to buy it.”

“Well, you ‘gaaaaaaatta’ be more careful,” he said, and opened his mouth to continue before Juniper skipped back in with more cake.

There were two kinds on this tray. She picked up the old tray, set it aside on a free table, and put the new tray on top of it. She took two matching plates of cake and set it before them.

“Wreath cake,” she named the icing drizzled sweet in front of them, “Obviously, if we made it for you, there would be many layers stacked like a multiple wreaths on top of each other.”

As they ate the cake, Juniper started firing off questions.

“How long have you two been together?”

“Uh… Three years now,” Leo answered shakily.

“Yeah, we’re actually getting married on our three year anniversary,” Jason chimed in.

That’s so adorable!” Juniper squealed, stacking their now-empty cake plates and giving them new ones with chocolate slices on the, “Triple chocolate and caramel. So, any plans for the future? Kids?”

Leo stuffed his face to avoid the question, leaving Jason to answer. “Er- well, we want to adopt sooner or later.”

Juniper nodded. “I’ll probably be adopting too.”

“Why?” Leo murmured through a full mouth.

“I can’t have kids,” she said with a nervous giggle bubbling from her lips, “It’s a medical condition.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Jason told her.

“Don’t be! I’ll still have kids one way or another, right?”

“So, you’ve got a husband?” Jason asked.

“Yes! Leo’s already spoken to him. His name is Grover.”

Jason’s blood turned to ice. “Underwood?”

“Yes! How did you know?”

“Lucky guess, I suppose. I think I used to know him…”

“Small world,” Juniper mused, “well, I’ll grab the next samples.”

When Juniper turned and walked back behind the counter, Jason turned to Leo with wide eyes. The Latino man looked indifferent. “What?”

“Grover Underwood?” Jason hissed, “Percy’s _best friend_?”

Leo’s fork clattered to his plate. “Shit.”

“Yeah, ‘shit’. How couldn’t you know that he owned the place?”

“Percy didn’t mention that when he told me about the sampling!”

“Juniper’s gonna tell him and we’re gonna get found out, Leo!”

“Just..” Leo sighed, “We’ll figure it out, Jason!”

“How? It’s not like we can actually get married to cover up one little-,”

He broke off as Juniper came back into the main dining room with another tray of cakes. She set it upon the other two and lay identical plates of white cake in front of them.

“Hey, um,” Jason cleared his throat, “We actually have to get going, something came up.”

Juniper’s face fell. “Oh… Well, feel free to come back anytime!”

“Yeah, sure,” Leo said, “Thanks, Juniper.”

“No problem!” She put all the dirtied dishes on the stack of trays, turned to leave, then spun back around. “Hey, do you two know a Percy-,”  
  
“Uh, nope, gotta go, bye!” Leo spoke loudly over her, hesitating before taking the chocolate cake from the plate Juniper’d put in front of him, stuffing the entire thing into his mouth, and pulling Jason out the doors and hurrying to get into the car.

When they were in the safety of Leo’s shitty car, backing out of the parking lot and back onto the streets, Jason reached over to knock Leo’s sunglasses back down on his face.

“When Juniper tells Grover and Grover tells Percy…”

“We’ll be fine,” Leo insisted after he’d swallowed his cake, “Just don’t worry about it. We’re not going to get arrested or anything like that.”

“I know, but still, man!”

“Hey, calm down. We just kinda sorta stole some cake. We’re going to be alright, don’t flip on me, Grace.”

Jason exhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

“But, that was pretty good, no?”

Jason peeked open one eye and looked over at Leo.

“Maybe not,” he relented, “But come one! That cake was really good, at least!”

“Yeah. I suppose so,” he straightened up in his seat. If they were caught, they’d probably just pay off what they ate and have a laugh out of it. No big deal. Leo did seem off some, though.

“See? We’re some pretty dangerous dudes. Stealing cake and all that.”

“I feel like I’ve truly lived, honestly.”

“You know it.”

Jason held out his fist to Leo.

“I’m driving.”

“Has that ever stopped you before? Don’t argue, I have a list that will refute all your claims.”

Leo gave an exaggerated sigh and fist bumped Jason.

“So, you wanna watch The Revenant now?”

“You know it.”

“And I’m pretty sure you said something about cuddling…”

“Maybe. Pineapple and Meat Lover’s pizza?”

“Your cheese sticks, too.”

“Aww, you remembered.”

“Of course I do, dude. You’re my husband, aren’t you?”

“I’m your _fiancé_ , idiot. And a fake one at that.”

“Same thing!” Jason insisted

“Not really, but okay, I’ll let up.”

“Hey,” Jason said, “Are you alright? You acted a little, I don’t know…”

“Was that phase of my schemes where I almost pussy out? Don’t worry about that. What I should be worrying about is what you said to me in Spanish.”

“I was trying to come on you…” he teased.

“Come onto me? As if. We’re going to just buy The Revenant on Amazon because I just want get home and get pizza,” Leo tried to change the subject, but Jason wasn’t about to let up. No, he needed to know what was up. It was obvious now.

“Look, Leo, just tell me what’s up.”

“You won’t believe me.”

“Shoot.”

“I’m secretly in love with you and this whole thing was a ploy to get you to ask me out. It’s hard for me to accept that the entire time you were flirting with me in there it didn’t mean anything for you.”

Jason chuckled. He wasn’t being serious, right? Right. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me.”

Leo looked strangely solemn at that, but he regained himself quickly enough. He blew more air out of his nose than usual in a laugh-type-thing.

He felt his phone start ringing in his back pocket, and he pulled it out to opened it up. What did Percy want now?

“ _Jason?_ ” His friend’s voice rang out from the other nice.

“Hey, Perce. What’s up?”

_“Hey, yeah, Juniper called-,”_

“Juniper what?”

_“Called me, and said-,”_

Jason scrambled to grab a handful of receipts from the cup-holder, holding his phone away slightly from his face and crinkling them up. “Percy, I can’t hear you, bad reception!”

He made a bunch of static noises with his mouth. “I can’t- No, I’m sorry- Okay call you back bye!”

He hung up and shoved his phone back in his back pocket. “They’re onto us.”

“Dammit,” Leo cursed, liveliness sounded suspiciously forced, “Let’s just get married so we don’t have to lie.”

“We aren’t even dating.”

“Jason, c’mon, we’ve practically been dating for the past five years of knowing each other.”

And Jason just scoffed in amusement, looking over at Leo- whose eyes were back on the road, thank God- then looked back out the window before invasive thoughts got the better of him.

Damn. Maybe he’d have to get a spray bottle for this one, too.

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, Jason says "Then later in bed, right? Because when we got home, I'll make a mess of you, baby."   
> (That's what I tried to have it say anyways. My Spanish alone is reeeeeaaaaallllly bad and I relied on Google Translate to make sure I got it kinda right.)


End file.
